“Not only must children not be commanded to love their parents, but nothing must be done which has this result as their object. Parental affection, at its best, differs from sex love in this respect. It is of essence of sex love to seek a response, as is natural,since without a response, it cannot fulfil its biological function. But it is not the essence of parent love to seek a purpose.”
Russell, B. (1926) On Education London, Unwin Books (1964, p104)
“One of the difficulties attending parental love in our cultural moment is that the child, and first of all, the baby, has become the focus all so much expert know –how alongside so many redemptive hopes. Bringing up children now often seems to require a concentration of programmatic activity and consumerist expenditure so intense that love can flip into frustration and disappointment, though this may have Little to do with the child’s own individuality. The pleasures of love too often seem to have been displaced by a work and a production ethic in which parental achievement is judged by effort and by the honed product at its ever receding terminus.”
From All About Love Anatomy of an Unruly Emotion by Lisa Appignanesi (p289, 2011).